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JOURNAL 16/03/2019

Posted by chanmaypyeng on March 16, 2019 at 10:20 AM

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Been trying hard to get my shit together.

This week I worked tremendously hard in searching for new good job, and was having a good vibe and feeling happy.

I had promised myself I need to live my best out of this unemployed days.

Live as hard as you can, try new things, improve yourself, be stronger, live a life that you always wanted

Be someone inspiration of a good life and live life to fulllest

Life is not just about money. Find that balance between money and life.

Success is defind by yourself, not others.

No matter how hard it will be , how tough your life gonna be , but there's always rainbow after the rain.

Take your time to find the life that you wanted.

DREAM OF IT CAUSE YOU ARE ATTRACTING IT AND YOU CAN LIVE UP TO IT

Do not give up May May.

You have came this far. I know it is hard but you're stronger.

Please try your very best in all interviews and you might not know which direction you would like to head to , but somehow in the journey

you will figure it out.

Do not stop.

Keep going. Keep exploring. Have fun and be happy.

This is your life and you get to decide what you want to do with it.

You know what is the best for you

I cried so much in the midst of phone call with mum. From the moment I answered the phone, there's so much of discouragement

SO MUCHH OF DISSAPOINTMENTS DISCOURAGEMENTS

I screamed at her. and i cried and i hung up the phone call.

My last words was tomorrow I'm not going to call you. And I wun call you until I find a job.

And I just cried

I couldnt stop myself from crying

cause after all the days

She is still not agreeable to my resignation.

There is nothing.

Nothing she said that can make me happy.

I do not understand why she did not und the reason I wanna quit so badly

Yea she said I am naive I am young I cant work hard I am spoiled girl who only want to enjoy

But I know I am not

If I have the determination, I will go above and beyond to get what I want.

SHE IS STOPPING ME FROM GOING ANYWHERE (even Singapore)

THIS IS GONNA BE HARD MAY MAY.

YOU NEED TO FIND YOURSELF A PARTTIME

SOONNNNNN

to sustain yourself.

But you're going to be fine.

Very soon

I promise.

Life is good and there's miracle as long as you trust it.

Although I cried , but still I am feeling happy and I will work harder to where I want to be.

I PROMISED.

I CAN DO THIS.

DO YOUR VERY BEST

L.O.V.E

Posted by chanmaypyeng on January 5, 2019 at 8:20 AM

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One day , a girl met a guy . The guy fall in love with her at first sight but the girl didnt know . The guy was trying to make all moves and dropped all hints to her that he's interested in her. But the girl was too dumb to realise , or more accurately speaking , she was scared that it was too good to be true. Maybe it was all her imagination again like last time how she ended up with Mr. JK. she would not want to be hurt again , living in her own imagination and fantasy.

The guy was a good guy , different from JK. He's smart , tall , good looking , caring , kind , the all-in-one package that all girls would like their bf to be. The girl sensed something going on between both of them , but she was still traumatised by her last experience. But this time , she knows it was different , they texted , he asked her out , he always concered about her , and it was so real and too real to be truth. I am being loved , for the first time . Not my own imagination and fantasy but it was really happening.

The guy confessed to her on his birthday , and she said yes. Finally the girl is in a relationship , no more flirting flirting and throwing baits. They are happy everyday , the guy is the sweetest guy that she've ever met. He is so caring and kind that makes her fall for him really hard. She loves him and he loves her a lot. He spoils her with good food and everything that he can gives to her. He gives her the best version of himself and treats her fmaily members well too. He is a good mannered guy , polite and humble . The she was referring to me and he is my current bf.

Being together with him is never boring , everyday we create new memories and cherish all the little things that happened in our life. He's my strongest pillar of strength , I can count on him to pick me up and hold me tight when i fall. We can share and talk about everything , late night talk is what i looking forward to everyday after work.

When things get hard at work , all I need is his hug and everything seems to just flew away by the wind. He's very supportive about every single thing that i wanna do in my life , we share each other dream and work together to realise it.

We travel together with his parents and my parents , he knows about my family problem and he helped me a lot in getting all my shit together. He will drive me to work one day per week and pick me up after working hours to have dinner with me. He is willing to wait for hours just for me to finish work. He always take me out to try all the new restaurants and cafes.

He said he knows it's me at first sight and he never doubt about his choice , he said im the kindest person that he ever met and he would not let anyone hurt me cause I deserve the best and he will work hard to give me the best.

He is a simple guy and he makes me laugh so hard even when I dont feel like it. Our dating routine can be as simple as walking around a park after a dinner and just by enjoying each other companion , we feel happy and loved. We talked about our past , laughing at each other embarrassing stories.

We looks into each other eyes and he said : " thank God that i finally met you , my sweetest girl. I don't know what I do to deserve you but i promised that I will take care of you for the rest of my life. " And I smiled and said : " I never thought i will have the chance to be loved but you have showered me a lot love that I could never ever imagine. Thank you my love. I purple you <3

On my birthday , he proposed to me by saying : " Journey with you was never enough and I would love to have you by my side forever , the thought of waking up beside you everyday makes me smile like an idiot and I know I could never be wrong , would you marry me ? "

In tears , I said "Yes" .

LOST

Posted by chanmaypyeng on September 17, 2016 at 8:55 AM

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I've been starting my internship for two weeks now. But I'm still feeling lost.

I was hoping that internship may enlighten me about my future path.

But the more I'm into it , the more doubts I have about myself and the career that I choose.

It's the correct choice?

It's what I wanted to achieve?

I have no answers to them and no one will have.

I've been struggling these days in my engagement team.

I hope I can get along with them .

But I just did not make my first step.

I do wish I am a sociable person.

But I just never be.

My first engagement gonna end soon.

And I have known that I have so much things that unknown of.

From excel , to scanning documents , to preparing the management account.

Roll forward , vouching , PDC

All of these audit terms I have no idea what it is about.

I'm too far away from what I hope I can become.

But I do believe I will one day my dream will come true.

That I can become like people that I admire.

Be an intelligent woman.

A smart woman.

Sociable person .

And have passion in life.

Next engagement will starting soon,

And this time,

four months long.

Work hard, FIGHTER

Believe in yourself that you can make it ,

MY DEAR.

Do not lose hope.

And find your dream in the midst of this long journey.

Be clear of what you want.

And be true to yourself.

Semester Break!!

Posted by chanmaypyeng on June 25, 2016 at 2:45 AM

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FINALLY the hectic month had passed.

With ACCA exam and university degree exam both happenning at the same time.

I can't believe that I can survive through it.

And here comes the long awaited semester break.

I had so much ideas in my mind about what I wanna do during my semester break

BUT when the semester break finally came

I'm blurred

Too much things that i wanted to do i guess?

I applied for summer exchange programme to Taiwan and attended interview yesterday.

The question was : Talk about biggest failure and how you overcome it.

Biggest failure

I tried to search in my memory about my biggest failure.

But I just couldn't.

Yes , I did encountered many failures but if I would not say one of them is my biggest.

Everyone do fails ,but what is most importantly is not let the failures fail you.

Get up , Dress up, And

Never give up.

Failures are to make us stronger each times.

To learn from it and become better.

Never afraid failures as many of us would not dare to try because afraid of failures.

Dare to try and Dare to fail!

You will be impressed about how you have improved from failures.

This is what I have in my mind for the answer but when I comes to verbal communication

I just didn't did well as I thought I could.

I didn't construct my idea well.

And i keep repeating the same words over and over because the words just didn't comes automatically in my mind.

I sucked at impromptu speaking.

I just can't speak up naturally although I have tons of ideas in my mind.

My biggest weakness will be speaking i guess TT

I admired those who can speak so naturally in front of tons of people.

I can't even get my words organized nicely.

It was pretty upsetting experience for me yesterday.

I hope I can still stand a chance to join the programme.

And here comes my first task for semester break.

IMPROVEEEEEE my communication skills

I will work hard for my first task!!

Happy weekend and happy holiday to those who are having semester break like me

Cheers!

Thoughts

Posted by chanmaypyeng on May 15, 2016 at 2:50 AM

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I want to be a businessman

I want to be a CEO

I want to be a singer

These are my friends' dreams.

I envy them for having their dreams.

Because i didnt have any.

It's not that I never think of my dreams before, it's just that I told myself that I can't do it.

I want to be a fashion designer. "NO, you can't. You are not good at drawing."

I want to be a model. " You are not good looking enough."

I want to be a graphic designer. " Did it brings you high income level that enough to sustain your high spending level?

In the end , I didn't have any dreams.

I am the biggest obstacles in my dream, in my life.

Whenever i have something in my life , my rationale told me that NO, it just not gonna work.

And yes , it never works because I didn't even tried it.

I have so much things going on this month and despite having tons of works , I spend most of my time thinking.

Thinking about what I really want in my life.

Thinking about what I not even know what I want to achieve

Where is my dream?

The more I think , the more I doubt about myself.

I am good at nothing

My friends (my BFFs) and I joined a tax competition last year , and we did win ourselves a second place.

But , I contributed nothing much into the competition.

And I feel myself so useless because I din even did my best in presentation.

My presentation skills sucks. ( Of cause my English too)

I hate myself for being a free-rider in the group because I didnt contribute much and yet i got the prizes.

But i told myself, nevermind , I will do better next time.

And when i knew that the BFFs of mine joined another competition without me , they found my senior and form a group.

That feeling was sucks

I didn't even know my BFFs are joining the competition.

I didn't know that they group with my senior.

And here comes rumors

People wondering " why i didnt join them?" ( Come on, I didnt even know they joining)

Everyone and even I myself was curious.

Why they didnt even find me?

And I make a pretty good conclusion on it , because I'm not good enough.

People only will value you when you are clever than them, (at least this applies to business world)

A competitive environment

With me who have no competitive advantage.

I dislike the feeling when people ask you why u didnt join and you have to admit that I'm not good enough for them as a teammate.

(oh ya ,they won champion in Malaysia and are going to HongKong end of this month to compete in international level)

I wish I can be as good as I want myself to be.

The worst enemy in life is myself.

I want a change in myself.

I hope one day I have a story that worth telling to everyone.

Which I can make my parents proud of me too.

I hope my story can motivate someone who are facing the stuggles I'm facing right now.

The stuggles of climbing up the mountain to reach the top.

And this is my dream

THE BEST VIEW COMES AFTER THE HARDEST CLIMB

Love yourself enough to work harder.

One day , you will be thankful to yourself for the hard work.

If you don't imagine, nothing ever happens at all. - John Green

Ohhowweird

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Blog

JOURNAL 16/03/2019

L.O.V.E

LOST

Semester Break!!

Thoughts